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Thank you, Ashley.  

Ashley, What I love is your depth of lyrics and that they aren't much like an itinerary or a timeline. There is so much creativity in your lyrics and the Been Dreaming of You lyrics are wonderful! 

This is something we have written to each other. I hope it inspires some things and let's you see into who we are. 

My sweetheart,
You are in there sleeping so soundly....
Today, with the mist in our faces and hair, standing next to that beautiful waterfall, was a memory I will carry in my heart, I loved laying on the rocks with you, I love taking pictures with you, and I’m excited to see how our connection grows in photos over time.

You are so beautiful, with your hair and mouth and eyes. I loved our pop rocks kissing and photos, and I love all of the memories we are making. I know this email is all over the place, and short, but I am tiered, and just want to come be next to you. But I have you in my heart, and want you to know.

You, with ocean eyes and goddess hair,
A miracle of strength overlying soft, and softness enfolding steel,
A walking enigma of sleepy eyes and iron will,
Of grace and earth, powder and sweat, vulnerability and fire,
You come to me, you sing to me, you settle into secret places.
Sit down, stay, come in.
Sweet touches on my face,
Kisses warming places lost,
Imprints on my heart folding in, changing landscapes of what was, morphing into what is, what  will be... and 
Echoing scent, mouth of embers and comfort,
Steady, Here,
I Love You. 

Thank you for being here. Thank you for giving me this time with you, in this place. Thank you for not only making my North Carolina dreams come true, but making them better than I could have imagined. I can’t wait to wake up to you. But now, I’m going to sleep beside you.

Sweet dreams, my love.

Response back: 

Oh Alison….since the falls and our ride back home I’ve been dying to write something to you. I was too tired last night and wanted to do it when I am fresh in the morning. And to wake up to you, this lovely message you wrote, and a poem is happiness, joy, love, like I’ve never experienced before. My heart is filled with you and it’s the best feeling I’ve ever felt. 

Every day I want to, and can’t wait, to go on an adventure with you. I really don’t care where we go and why as long as we are together. I absolutely love our rides in the car, stops at various gas stations, and experiencing joy and laughter only Krispy Korner like places can bring out. I know today is supposed to be our day home but I know I am already antsy wanting to go and experience life with you. 

Yesterday, after we trekked down the steps and while my soul felt like it was coming through my nose because I thought I was going to die from all the climbing and steps — when we got to the falls, pass the ropes, and felt the mist of water hit our faces, it’s like all of the exhaustion and struggle from hiking just washed away. There was something energetically special about that place. There was something amazing about being there and experiencing it with you. I wanted to stop the time and pause in the moment with you. I know something happened to me. Something that brought me closer to you. But it also felt like you hit a new place too. Your eyes glistened like I’ve never seen before. You felt different. You felt full and happy. You felt like you. (Although I am not sure why or how I know that, but it just felt right.) 
I just wanted to sit there and kiss you. I just wanted to gaze into your soul and feel you. That felt like our place. Like somehow we belong there. I don’t know why I am saying any of this. And I have no idea how you felt about being there. But, for me, those moments with you will forever be engraved in my heart. 

All of it invigorated me to practically fly down the mountain and not feel the walk back. It was absolutely incredible. 

I remember sitting in the car thinking — “wow, this just can’t get any better.” I was so happy….but then, it got so fucking much better. 

I was exhausted from walking and just the emotional journey. My mind was going 100 miles per minute. But when you suggested I stick my head through the roof……ugh…..I was besides myself. I utterly enjoy wind. It’s my favorite element. It makes me think what it brings with it. As I breathe it in I wonder which continent it came from, what it all passed through, and what it carries with it….I usually picture this warm air leaving Africa, passing through all of the African countries, all indigenous people there…the rich, the poor, the clean, dirty….just invisibly passing through Sahara, the Serengeti…..picking up molecules, atoms, energy….…then hitting the Atlantic Ocean and passing through storms and rain, as well as still early mornings, when the sun is hitting the horizon — and water is still like glass… hit South America……rain forests, Mayan lands, as it slides up through the Caribbean’s and Rastafarian worlds of peace and love….across Cuba and Gulf of Mexico….to simply end up with me……for me to take a nice deep breath in… feels like a privilege, more than anything, to receive all the energy and pieces of the world it carries with it. 

Last night in the car I kept smelling the pines that take me home, the burning fire that makes me feel safe and cozy, the fresh nature…..all of it….and it felt like because I was happy you were happy too Which them made me melt. To be with someone that has your happiness as their priority is a privilege and so rare. Maybe I am mistaken, but I feel the same way about you. Nothing makes me happier than you being happy. Feeling content and full of love and life. And to have someone reciprocate that is something I never imagined I would be lucky enough to experience. Thank you. 

And as I closed my eyes and felt the wind on my body I felt so grateful for the moment. I felt so happy and fulfilled that I wanted to scream from happiness. In that moment I felt a little drop that makes my life worth living. These little moments of pure joy and happiness are why I live in between. Life is made up of these moments that make all the pain and struggle so fucking worth it. And when those moments happen I appreciate them. I embrace them. I love them. I cherish them. They are so wonderful and so special that I felt so guilty about it. Because I get to experience this but so many other people don’t. Most people go through life never truly understanding the power of a single moment. And it’s a life wasted. I don’t know about you - but I truly hope you get to experience, pause, and appreciate moments like these. I hope I can give you what you give me. I hope I can take care of you the way you take care of me. I hope I can support you the way you support me.  I hope I can love you the way you love me. 

I am sorry this email is a lot of rambles and isn’t organized in a lovely poem like yours. I just feel so much and this is a small drop in the ocean of feelings I have….some feelings that words can’t even describe. 

I can’t believe you are in my life. I can’t believe this is actually happening. And there is nothing more in the world that I appreciate and love that us. I know I will fight for you and you will fight for me. I know we will figure it out. I am sure there will be hard days and we’ll both have our moments. But I also know that we are both strong enough to hold on to each other when it matters. I know we both appreciate what we have. I know our love will transcend all the challenges and we will continue to find our ways home to each other. 

I can’t and don’t want to imagine my life without you. Now that I know what true happiness feels like as I taste small glimpses of it — I want nothing more than to keep creating this happiness, this world, with you. 

I hope I can love you back into letting the true Alison come out and bloom. I hope I can love you until you feel safe to let yourself go into my arms. I hope I can love you until you are standing naked in my arms, melting into me until we can become one. You are my love. You are my everything. You are the reason that makes life worth living. I’ve never said it anyone (including my parents) and I mean it with all my heart. 

Thank you for being you. I love you. Always. 


Ps. This is so fucking long I have no idea what I wrote and can’t read it again. So….sorry for the typos and rambles and…..😂

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